I hope you are fine wherever you are…I definitely know you are alive though. I don’t know your first name yet, but I know your last name will be “Umurhohwo” one day.
Anyway, I don’t have much to say but I just want you to know that I’ve been making huge efforts in locating you. It seems you are very good at playing “hide and seek”, I want to inform you not to play that card with me. I’ll advice you to come out now from where you are hiding before I change my mind and become a ‘Reverend father’. Honestly I’ve searched endlessly for you, I’ve checked facebook, twitter, google and even notice board, all to no avail. If you are doing this purposely, please stop it, I’m getting tired, I’m already running out of patience or are you currently married to someone else? *just asking (afterall them say person wey ask question no dey miss road)*
Are you scared of marriage, don’t worry, you’ll enjoy it, I’m a perfect gentleman. Meanwhile, I’m a semi-virgin… I’m keeping myself for you in the wardrope…lol. I hope I’m not scaring you with all these? By the way, I plan to have just three kids, I hope your name is not Sarah, expecting me to be Abraham (Father of all nations), if you are, I’ll advice you reposition your thoughts, “cerelac” and “pampers” alone dey finish salary o (if you no know make u ask sharperly).
Meanwhile, I hope you are watching your weight o, I cannot marry someone I can’t carry! Please endeavour to visit the gym regularly and not too often as that could lead to something else! My regards to my future mother-in-law, I can handle your Dad later on and say me well to the scalywag currently parading himself as your boyfriend. I hope he hasn’t eaten my meat…if he has, thunder fire his left hand! Lol