With me trying to be a man of my own, I decided to relocate out of my parents’ house and was sharing a room with my “friend” Bayo. I had no idea he smoked weed, despite his apprehensive movements and signature weed scent (abi na odour?) Barely two weeks after moving in with him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occasionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room or mix the weed with beans or spaghetti.
Being a very curious person I always wondered what made them happy after smoking, so I decided to find out for myself (which I later found out to be a very wrong move)
It was a very hot day in February, a Saturday to be precise. Bayo was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn’t find it so I decided to go and get mine. I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get assaulted but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there, they were all on different planets except one. I concluded that he must be the seller so I approached him and the following conversation ensued:
Me: “how far?”
Weed seller: “I dey”
Me: “I wan buy weed”
Weed seller: “how many parcel?”
Me: “parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small I need”
Weed seller: laughs really hard. “bolo leleyi sha” (meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, I didn’t know that. I thought it was something very large.
I gave him 1000 naira and he gave me a tiny wrap of weed with a white paper, I was surprised when he gave me 950 naira as change. I couldn’t believe weed was that cheap.
On my way home, I decided not to smoke it but mix it with beans because I thought that it will be better that way (another wrong move). Long story short, I cooked beans and added the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, I told him “ogbeni, I just ate weed oo and nothing happened to me. This one that you people will eat and be feeling funky, I don chop am oo”. My friend was like “ehen you be strong man oo”
I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry, I woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor, I was banging my head on the floor, and I couldn’t stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud. After a few minutes of head banging, I was able to get up from the floor.
I felt as if I had just gained access to a part of my mind that I never knew existed previously, it was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins (you have to experience it to believe it, though I strongly advise against it).i felt so uncomfortable in the room, it felt like I was in an oven suddenly a voice in my head whispered “off your clothes”. I obeyed. The voice came again “now run”, that was when I realized that the weed had taken effect so I decided to take a shower to see if it will calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my skin so hot I ran out of the bathroom.
I called my friend to see if he could help me make sense of what was going on but he laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of weed I took and I told him I used a whole parcel, he said “abaaa guy, you don eff up. If you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go mad oo. Go chemist make you go explain yourself”.
By this time things had escalated, I had a severe itch at the back of my head that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I scratched and I was convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran to my neighbor champion and told him “champion please punch me in the chest, if you don’t punch me, I will die oo”. He hissed and walked out having had enough of such nonsense from the boys in the boy’s quarters.
The voice in my head came again “why don’t you punch yourself in the chest or do you want to die”? I punched and punched but there was no difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my head was getting louder, the itch in my head was getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was getting louder. Then came the voice again “start running”, so I started running but on getting outside in the sun, I felt so cold I was shivering but that didn’t stop me from running (I would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realized i was bare footed, I told him I had a severe headache, I needed something to make me sleep immediately, he gave me the drug and I chewed it right there in his presence. Next I asked him to give me a drug for evil spirit, which was when he realized something was wrong with me and chased me out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart beat wouldn’t let me, so I ran back out this time around to a nurse in the area, first thing she asked was “Why don’t you have your shoes on”? I told her “Jackie Chan collected my shoes”. I was finally able to explain my situation to her and she took me in, tied something around my elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or 2am in the middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of butterfield bread in one sitting without butter or tea.
I came home to a hero’s welcome, my friend told me “e be like say your head no carry am but e go better make you try am once more so you go dey use to am”. The following day while the house was empty, I packed my Ghana-must-go and like the prodigal son in the bible I went back home to my parents.
It has been a few years since that experience but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn’t gotten me in trouble again and my circle of friends have since changed.