Things We Do For The Punali

I did promise to continue with the chronicles of an Akokite series. There have been some modification to the initial idea of writing chronologically from year 1 down to year 4 though, would just be writing them as time permits . So without much ado, let’s drive in.

Something happened to a friend yesterday which reminded me of what happened to me some few years back. Thinking of it now, I can’t help but laugh. Things boys do for ladies abi punali.

I will never forget July 8, 2011 in a hurry. That was second semester year two. There was this Benue lady with this oh-my-god back side that I met in Onike although she schooled in the College of Education in Akoka. She was bursting my brain then with her body assets. I have been toasting her for over three weeks but this babe nor want show green light, despite my persistent calls and sms. She would invite me when her room is full and so no show for matters of body pleasure.

I called her that Friday evening like I have been doing consistently for the last 21 days and fortunately or unfortunately depending on your angle of view, she was showing green light. She complained of boredom and PHCN and also been scared to sleep alone since her roommate have gone home for the weekend. For my mind, I shouted jackpot and as a sharp good boy, I swayed her into countenancing me to come and keep her company. See internal exhilaration and jubilation for a victory in advance!

I quickly arranged myself, freshen up, took some books I will read later in the night and emm..rubber protective for the mission ahead. I quickly contacted Joe and Tega who knew about her and briefed them on the operation ahead. Joe came to my room straightaway to revel with me. He was hailing me left, right and centre like I had won a US visa lottery (We guys though).  Just as I was about leaving, thunder started striking. “This rain won fall like this spoil show oo” I said, but my guy gingered me on saying it wasn’t going to rain anytime soon. My roommate that has heard the gist of the undertaking ahead finished the gingering when he said the rain will make the thing sweeter and encouraged me to rush sharply to UNILAG second gate and get an okada before the okada men start running home.

With those final wordings from my roommate, my brain sharply send some electric impulse to my JT, who acknowledge the message by nodding and attempting to stand. I sharply leave Newhall pass through FSS even begin dey run to beat the rain till I got to 2nd gate. On reaching 2nd gate by 7:46pm, there was no bike in sight. I kept on running towards my destination with the hope that I would get okada men who would want to take advantage of the rain to make quick money. My people na so rain come start oh.

Those type of blazing rain that normally uproot tress was the one on show that night. It was raining like it had a point to prove. You should probably see me that night. I was looking like a chicken that was poured water. There was no shade to protect me from the heavy rain, no okada in sight to salvage the situation and my ZLY 202 note as well as a class mate’s note I borrowed to photocopy in school that evening where already wet and doomed. Even with the situation I found myself, I was a little excited when the babe started calling. I thought she wanted to hurry me up like she can’t wait to see me or the cold was getting to her. Mumu me still brought out my blackberry curve 2 (Those days when bold 2 and curve 2 where the greatest phones) in the heavy downpour and tried to answer her call, na so water beat my blackberry, the phone develop bad health instantaneously. The rain beat me sote I nearly die that night. But wetin I for tell God if I die that night con reach heaven?

To expurgate an elongated story, I trekked back to the hostel shivering like Kogi crayfish. My book and that of my course mate were condemned. I caught a very bad cold and cough since I react easily to cold environment, also paid out close to 4500 Naira to a phone Engineer to repair my phone and to make matter worse, my friends who knew the outcome of my mission deflated my ego with this kind of laughter I have never experienced before. The immediately start laughing each time I cough. To add salt to injury, the reason why the babe called while I was in the rain was to inform me that a friend of hers came around and they decided to go see a movie at Ozone cinema. You can just imagine how some ladies could be heartless.

But on a serious note, I hated myself for an unabridged week or more. As much as I hated church, I even started going to church including Tuesday bible study and Wednesday prayer meeting as well as the normal Sunday service after that incident just to make myself happy and calm my heart.

P.S: I did not get even a kiss from this Benue lady till she returned back to the North. This incident shaped my thinking when it comes to relating with ladies. If there is no green light from her after the first 14 days, quickly move on. You can’t get them all. Cheii, boys don suffer oh.


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